Better Sex Tips

Anxiety is often the cause of premature ejaculation.
In an extramarital relationship a man may ejaculate as
soon as he penetrates his partner’s vagina,
despite the fact that he does not have this
problem with his wife. This is a sign of guilt. A
man may also ejaculate before he wishes to if he
feels frightened that his technique is not good
enough, and ejaculating quickly will prevent him
from having to reveal his lack of experience.

Believing that sex is bad
because of what you were told as a child is
another possible cause of premature ejaculation.
If as a boy, you were punished for masturbating,
you may have taught yourself to come quickly to
lessen the chance of being found out and to
minimize the guilt you felt at your own pleasure.
Fear of getting too close
to another person may also be a contributing
factor. Intimacy always brings with it the risk of
loss, and the unbearable pain attendant on that
loss. Subconsciously, a man who gets sex over
with quickly may be trying to protect himself from
close emotional involvement.

Several techniques can
help men last longer, and these should be
used in conjunction with examining the cause of
the problem. Understanding what is wrong often
brings its own release.

The stop-start technique for delaying ejaculation
The aim of these exercises is to learn to keep yourself
below the point at which ejaculation seems
inevitable for as long as possible. Men who do
not have a partner can practice the first three
steps. In them selves, they will help you gain a
greater measure of control. For the final four
steps you will need the co-operation of a partner.

* Step one Masturbate with a dry
hand. Avoid fantasizing, and concentrate instead
on the sensation in your penis. Allow the
pleasure to build up but stop immediately you feel
you are about to lose control. Relax for a while,
still keeping your mind free of fantasies, until the
danger of ejaculation has passed, then begin
again. Following the same pattern, aim to
continue stopping and starting for 15 minutes
without orgasm. You may not be able to manage
it at first, but keep trying. As you get more
practiced, you will probably find you have to stop
less often. When you have completed three
15-minute sessions on three consecutive
occasions (not necessarily one immediately after
the other!), proceed to step two.

* Step two involves masturbating with a
lubricating jelly to heighten sensation, and make
delay more difficult. Follow the technique in step
one until you have completed three separate
consecutive sessions as above.

* Step three You will now have gained a
good measure of control. The next step involves
masturbating with a dry hand for 15 minutes
before ejaculation. Keep focusing on your penis
rather than fantasizing. When you feel yourself
getting dangerously excited, don’t stop, but
instead, change rhythm or alter your strokes in
such a way that the pressure to ejaculate fades.
Experiment to see which strokes excite you most,
and which allow you most control. Work on this
step until you have completed three consecutive
sessions as before.

* Step four Now involve your partner. Lie
on your back and get her to masturbate you with
a dry hand, as in step one. Concentrate on the
sensations in your penis and ask her to stop
every time you get too aroused before the 15
minutes is up. The aim is to last for three
consecutive 15-minute sessions.

* Step five Repeat step four, but ask your
partner to use a lubricant while she masturbates
you. You will find ejaculation much more difficult
to control, and you may have to ask her to stop
more often. Once you have mastered three
consecutive 15-minute sessions, you are ready to
try the stop-start technique with intercourse.

* Step Six The best position for delaying
ejaculation is with the woman on top. Once you
are inside her, ask her to move gently. Put your
hands on her hips so that you can let her know
with your hands when you want her to stop, and
when you are ready for her to start again. Again,
aim to last for 15 minutes, but if you can’t, don’t
worry; you can start again once you recover your
erection, and the second time you will probably
have more control. During intercourse,
concentrate entirely on yourself. Give your
partner your full concentration and bring her to
orgasm either before or afterwards, with oral or
manual stimulation.

* Step seven Move on to other positions.
It is more difficult to delay -ejaculation with the
man on top, so save this until last.

The squeeze technique for delaying ejaculation

The ’squeeze’ action is designed to
cause your erection to subside, and it can be
applied every time you get too close to
ejaculation. Your partner performs the squeeze
by gripping your penis firmly, and pressing with
her thumb on the frenulum. This is the place on
the underside of the penis where the head joins
the shaft. At the same time, she presses on the
opposite side of the penis with her forefinger, and
with her other fingers curled round the shaft. It
is important that she presses fairly hard on the
penis and doesn’t move her hand while doing so.
Too light a touch could cause you to ejaculate
straight away.

* Step one Get your partner to masturbate you
with a dry hand. Any time you get too close to
ejaculation, signal to her to stop and squeeze
your penis. As with the stop-start technique, aim
to last for three consecutive 15minute sessions
before moving on to step two.

* Step two get your partner to masturbate you
slowly and gently as before, but this time ask her
to use a lubricant. Follow the procedure for step
one.

* Step three now you are ready for intercourse,
but not for thrusting. Instead, lie on your back and
ask your partner to sit on top of you, with your
penis inside her. Neither of you should move. As
soon as you feel the urge to come, your partner
should rise off you (this movement is dangerous
as it applies stimulation), and immediately hold
your penis in the squeeze grip. Repeat the
exercise a couple of times before you allow
yourself to ejaculate.

* Step four When you feel more confident about
your self-control, ask your partner to move gently
while she sits on top of you in the same position.
When you feel the urge to ejaculate, she should
move off you and squeeze as before, until you
can last 15 minutes without ejaculating.

* Step five you are now ready to try other
positions, but remember that with the man on top,
you will have least control. As with the stop-start
technique, during intercourse you should focus all
attention on yourself. Your partner will not feel
neglected if you bring her to orgasm orally or
manually either before or after intercourse.

Astride

With the man lying on his back on the bed, the
woman can sit astride him and control the pace
of their lovemaking. Facing him, she may squat
on her haunches for a more powerful bouncing
movement, or, as here, kneel, supporting herself
with her hands. This way, she is free to lean
forward and kiss his mouth. From this position it
is easy for her to increase the intimacy by lying
with her whole body along his. A variation is for
her to face away from him, increasing the depth
of penetration.

Crawl

Deep penetration can be achieved with the
woman on all fours and her partner kneeling
behind her. This position gives both lovers the
opportunity to thrust against one another, and the
man may also caress his partner’s breasts,
buttocks and clitoris. Rear entry positions like this
one are ideal when both partners are in the mood
for vigorous rather than tender lovemaking. A
variation is for both partners to stand with the
woman bending forward and supporting herself
against furniture.

Cross

Here the woman lies on her back on the bed and
the man lies diagonally across her. She opens
her legs to allow him to enter and he rocks gently
from side to side. She can guide his movements
with the pressure of her hands. This position is
somewhat easier to maintain if the man lies
beneath on his back and the woman is in control.

Cuissade

This position is known as ‘cuissade’, from the
French cuisse,meaning thigh. The woman lies on
her back, with the man at her side. She raises the
leg nearest to him and rests it on his body, and
he enters from under her thigh, with his nearest
leg crossing her body. They can hold one another
and kiss, and the position is a very intimate one,
possibly because of the ’secretive’ form of entry.
The woman can exert a certain amount of
restraint with her thigh, which can make it more
exciting.

Cunnilingus

In cunnilingus, the man stimulates his partner’s
vulva and clitoris with his lips and tongue. For
most women, cunnilingus gives the most
delicious sensual pleasure and is the best way of
climaxing. It is also extremely arousing for her
partner.

Cunnilingus - Oral sex upon a vulva

Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love
to a vagina with your mouth and tongue. It
is a delicate skill, requiring patience,
practice, and dedication to get it right, but
any woman you learn to do it right for will
appreciate you all the more for it.
What applies to the penis applies to the
vulva– every one is different, requiring a
different touch to make its owner happy.
But few tools can equal the tongue for the
amount of pleasure it can deliver to a
happy vagina.
This article assumes that you know what a
vulva looks like and can identify with some
precision the mons veneris, labia majora,
clitoral hood, clitoris, labia minora, urethra,
vagina, and perineum, to name them
(approximately) from top to bottom.

Fellatio

In fellatio, the woman sucks, licks, kisses and
strokes her partner’s penis. Exquisitely satisfying
for the man, fellatio can also give enormous
erotic pleasure to the woman as she senses his
responses and his total abandonment to her.

Fireside

In this cozy position, which can follow
cunnilingus, the woman sits comfortably in an
armchair with her hands and legs around the
man, who enters kneeling in front of her. If she
leans back, he can support himself with his
hands on the back of the chair, which will allow
him more thrust.

Futon

For this position you need to try out all your
furniture to find a piece of the correct height. The
woman lies on the edge of a table, futon or bed
covered with quilts and pillows, and spreads her
legs wide. The man can begin by kneeling to give
her cunnilingus, then he enters her, supporting
himself on his knees and holding her legs. This
affords him a great deal of control, and the angle
of penetration is steep.

Head to toe

The man lies on his back with his legs spread and his
penis inside the woman, who also lies down on her
back, with her legs spread across his, her toes pointing
to his head, and her head away from him. The woman is
in control. The partners cannot see each other and
sensation is concentrated on the genitals. This position
can be adopted from one in which the lovers sit on the
bed facing one another, their legs interlaced.

Lap

This is a position that may suggest itself while
cuddling on the sofa. The man sits with the
woman straddling his lap, facing him. She
controls the pace, they can kiss and he can
caress her breasts. She moves up and down on
him, supporting herself with her knees on the
sofa, and her arms around his neck. If they use a
dining chair, she can keep her feet on the floor
and hold on to the chair back for support if
necessary. If she faces away from him, they will
be able to achieve deeper penetration, and she

Missionary

The missionary position is the most popular
lovemaking position of all because it is
comfortable, affords a great deal of body contact
and good depth of penetration. The lovers can
kiss and hold each other at the same time. The
woman lies on her back with her legs spread and
her knees raised, and her partner lies on top
between her legs. From this position the woman
can move to clasp her legs behind her partner’s
back or to close them

Positions for pregnancy
———————-

Spoons

The woman lies comfortably on her side and the man enters her from behind, fitting his body closely to hers. This position puts no pressure on the woman’s abdomen and is suitable for the most advanced stages of pregnancy. The man can cuddle up close and caress her breasts, while kissing her shoulders and the nape of her neck.

Leapfrog

The woman kneels on the bed with legs spread wide, and falls comfortably forwards as the man enters her from behind. He can then caress her back and control the depth of thrust. This position is ideal when the woman starts to feel uncomfortable with the man’s weight pressing down on her and she wants to protect her belly from over-enthusiastic thrusting.

———————–

Side by side

This position, with the lovers lying side by side
and facing one another, is easy to slip into after
mutual masturbation, and can be a prelude to
rolling over with either partner on top. Here, the
woman has her leg wrapped round her partner’s
body to facilitate deeper penetration: she pulls
him towards her with her leg as he thrusts. The
partners can kiss and touch each other’s genitals
while making love in this position.

Split level

This is one of a number of ’split-level’ positions
that gives the partners a different view of each
other and a different angle of penetration. Here,
the woman lies on her back, her legs round her
partner’s waist, while he kneels. He is in total
control, and can also stimulate her clitoris with his
fingers. From this position he can let her legs
drop and lie on top of her in the missionary
position, or he can raise her legs, resting them
around his shoulders, then bend forward to kiss
her mouth

Spread-eagle

In this rear entry position, the woman lies face
down with the man on top of her. She spreads
her legs and he supports his weight on his arms.
If she raises her bottom off the bed slightly,
perhaps with the aid of a pillow under her hips,
then it will be possible to achieve deeper
penetration. The man can also lie with his full
weight on his partner, from which position it is
easy to roll into ’spoons’.

Standing

Both parties stand, using the wall as support.
This position is often used when the desire to
make love strikes unexpectedly. Part of the
excitement lies in the fact that it is not easy to
move in this position.

Standing carry

The man stands, holding his partner in his arms.
She wraps he legs round his waist and her arms
round his shoulders. She can move against him
by pulling herself up and down, and he can help
her with his arms. This position can be assumed
from sitting. It can, of course, be adopted in a
very confined space, but it is quite strenuous.
From this position you can return to sitting, or the
man can gently lower his partner on to a bed or
preferably a table, where thrusting can continue
without so much exertion.

Swimming

The man lies on his back, spreading his legs, and his partner
lies on top of him, her legs along his, her feet on his. There
is a good opportunity for kissing and total body contact. She
controls the pace of lovemaking by dragging herself up and
down against him. Many women find this position very
exciting and are more likely to reach orgasm without direct
clitoral stimulation this way than any other.
She can vary the position by closing her legs tight while his
remain spread, or by getting him to close his, or both. She
can also move easily from this position to sit up facing him.

Urgent

This position is ideal for when you are
unexpectedly overtaken by the urge to make
love. It does not require more than a loosening of
the clothes if you want. The woman leans over
the nearest available piece of furniture and the
man enters from behind. It is good for fast
exciting sex and gives both partners the
opportunity to thrust against one another.

THE DANCING KISS

A very pleasant way to kiss is found in the “dancing kiss.” Here, again, it is the closeness
of the bodies of the participants that adds to the enjoyment. What more could a pair of
lovers ask for than a dimly lighted dance floor, the tender, rhythmical strains of a waltz
being played by Wayne King, their arms around each other, their eager young bodies
kissing each other in a myriad of excitable places, the while, their cheeks meet in
glowing, velvety strokes? Naturally, in such situations, the rules of social etiquette w ill
not allow the pair to enjoy an extremely appropriate “lip kiss.” Although this can very
easily be accomplished in the privacy of one’s parlor while the radio is broadcasting the
music. In fact, the “electric kiss” can be ideally performed under these circumstances.
But, when dancing in a public place, the only kisses allowed would be those surreptitious
ones stolen under the straying eye of the chaperone. Under the pretense of whispering
pretty nothings into your partner’s shell of an ear, allow your lips to touch her earlobe, her
cheek and her chin. A few covert eye-kisses, perhaps, can be stolen in this manner, too.
But, these stolen sweets should suffice the happy couple until they return home,. Then,
stimulated by the forepleasure of these previous non-lip kisses, the pair can indulge in all
the variations listed in this booklet, to their hearts’ and their lips’ content. The while they
recall, perhaps, those lines from Sir John Suckling’s “Ballad of a Wedding,” which went:
Oh, they sudden up -and rise and dance;
Then sit again, and sigh, and glance;
Then dance again, and kiss.

THE SURPRISE KISS

A most charming manner of kissing is called the “surprise kiss.” This is performed when
one of the parties has fallen asleep, on the sofa, let us say. On entering the room, when
the other sees his lover asleep, he should tip-toe softly over to her. Then, lowering his
head slowly, he should implant a soft, downy, feathery kiss squarely on her lips. This first
kiss should be a very light one. -But, thereafter, the intensity of the kisses should increase
until the sleeping one has awakened. and, of course, even beyond that. The effect of such
an awakening to a sleeper is almost heavenly. For, while in the midst of a dream, a
pleasant one, most likely, for it will concern the other half of the couple, she feels
vaguely, faintly, as though it were the touch of a butterfly’s wing, a subtle kiss on her lips.
Naturally, in the depths of her sleep, she imagines that it is part of her dream and the
result. is a pleasant sensation, indeed. Then, gradually, athough still asleep, she feels the
kisses continue. And the pleasantness continues. Then, as she starts to come out of her
sleep, she realizes that the kisses are to real for a dream. But she is sure that she is
dreaming. And so, immediately, a relapse from the happiness sets in and a twinge of
sadness comes over her because she knows that’, instead of being with her lover, she is
only dreaming of him. Imagine, then, her extreme gratification, when, while thinking
these drab thoughts, she feels the actuality of an intense, ardent kiss on her lips. Her heart
flutters wildly. Her pulse runs riot. Perhaps she is not asleep, she argues to herself. Then
she opens her eyes. And she sees the darling face f her beloved bending over her. And
she feels the sensuous touch of his lips on hers. Truly, no awakening can be more
pleasurable!

KISSING UNDER THE MISTLETOE

Perhaps, in conclusion, it would be appropriate to make mention of a few kissing customs
which have intrigued mankind. For instance, there is the rite of kissing under the
mistletoe, at Christmas time. The origin of this custom is uncertain. Suffice it to say, it
must have been started by some woman because, in, it, She rule is that if a woman is
caught standing under a sprig of mistletoe, any man has the right to kiss her,
peremptorily, without asking her permision or begging her pardon. Here is one time when
social convention doses its eyes to lover’s delights. For, then, you can seize hold of the
girl with impunity and smack her to your heart’s content without being socially ostracized
for it.

KISSING GAMES

One wonders at the prevalence of kissing games in this civilization. Games on the order
of “Postoffice,” “Kiss the Pillow” and innumerable others which have been devised for
the jovial disports of lovers. In these games, because they are games, it is perfectly
legitimate for two people to lass. In fact, in the game Postoffice” this kissing is
encouraged behind closed doors where- the happy couple are alone in a room. The game
is so widespread that comment in regard to the manner in which it is played would be
extraneous here. But, what would make an excellent topping off for this booklet, would
be a conjecture as to the reason for the prevalence of such games, even during the.
dreaded Victorian -times , when etiquette was so strict that the dictum was made
forbidding the placing of a book by a female author next to a book written by a man!
These kissing games existed and shall continue to exist because man and woman must
kiss. In fact, man is the only animal who uses the kiss to express his love and affection.
Dogs, cats and bears lick their offspring. Horses and cows rub noses and necks. Birds
nestle together.
But, only mankind kisses.
Only mankind has the reason, the logic, the happy faculty of being able to appreciate the
charm, the beauty, the extreme pleasure, the joy, the passionate fulfillment of the kiss!
Nature kisses, in her way, but nature hasn’t the brains to profit from the kiss. Only man
can do this.
Perhaps it would be appropriate to conclude this summary of the art of kissing with an
excerpt from Shelley’s immortal poem in which occur the following lines:
See the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves-clasp one another.
No sister flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother.
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea;
What are are these kissings worth
If thou kiss not me?